To Be Afraid

What is fear? she wondered.

She knew the things of which others were afraid. Death. Loneliness. Heights. Spiders. Some people were afraid of other people, and some people were afraid of all the people, and some people were afraid of there being no people at all. There were myriad reasons to fear, and she knew them all. Even, she knew, the ultimate: being afraid of fear itself.

But she had no idea what any of it felt like.

She had great respect for things that could kill her, but that wasn't the same as fear. She could fall off a cliff face, her bones shattering into a million tiny pieces insider her body, and all it would take was one slip. She could be mugged on the street - or worse - at any point in her life.

To counter those potentials, she simply either didn't climb cliff faces, or triple-checked her gear when she did. She avoided walking alone and unarmed at night, especially down side streets or back alleys. Not out of fear, but out of pure common sense. This is something that could happen if you did this thing, so don't do this thing. Simple.

Never in her life had she felt pure fear.

Now, it coursed through her. Her heart thudded in her chest, so loud she was sure it could be heard clear across the room. Her breathing was ragged, coming in short gasps and explosive exhalations. Is this fear? she asked herself. Her skin felt hot, and she was sure she would be dizzy at any moment.

Is this what fear feels like?