What Goes Down

You know how people always talk about things tasting better on the way down than on the way up? I must confess, I don't get it. Not because I don't understand the reference, but because I've - perhaps thankfully - never had the chance to taste things on the way back up. I found myself thinking about that phrase even as I found myself over the porcelain bowl.

I was visiting friends for a party, and I'd had a bit too much of the crab, too much of the wine. I don't really know if it had been the alcohol or the seafood that had done me in, but I do remember that they had both tasted quite fine; my friend never skimped on expenses when it came to parties. In fact, she never skimped on expenses for anything. Even the toilet that I was now bent over, losing the delicacies to, looked expensive. The whole bathroom did, for that matter. Elegant and quietly expensive.

There was a lull in the pit of my stomach, and I coughed weakly, sinking to the floor and resting my cheek against the cool marble tile, my eyes fluttering closed. There was a knocking at the door, and I tried to sit up, groaning as I did so. "Alice?" came the worried voice of my friend. "Alice, are you all right in there?"

"Uh-huh," I managed, though even that came out more garbled than it should have. Clearly she heard some of the sickness in my voice still, for the door opened quickly, more force than necessary having been applied so that it flew backwards and smacked into the wall. "I di'n't lock i'," I said, giving a tiny smile.

"Drink this," she said, kneeling beside me and offering what looked suspiciously like a goblet of wine. Somehow, she managed to do this and flush the toilet at the same time, all the while looking just as elegant as her bathroom. I was a bit envious of her, to be honest. She frowned at me. "Drink it, Alice. It isn't wine, I promise. It's juice."

Juice. Right. I took a sip, albeit hesitantly. Before she could stop me, I'd drained the glass... and immediately wished I hadn't.

Okay, so, until now I'd never tasted anything coming back up. I tell you what, though... juice that you've only just recently swallowed tastes about the same either way.